Ugh, Yoga!

I think I’m the only woman in the world who actually gets angry while doing Yoga. There is something seriously wrong with my approach, obviously.

I’m trying to do this prenatal stuff, which seems embarrassingly easy.  They’ve modified all the poses to accomodate a gigantic pregnant woman’s belly and mine isn't very gigantic yet, keep in mind! The stretching is insanely gentle. They’re barely making you hold anything for more than half a second. And I’m still doing a crappy job. It seems really, really hard. And it makes me get mad at this hippied out blond woman named Shiva who really needs to tweeze her eyebrows.   She’s clearly holding back busting out her usual routine. I don’t like it when she tells me to open my ribcage and feel like a bird is about to fly out of it. I appreciate touchy-feely, but I can’t handle trying to imagine a bird flapping out of my chest. I’m straining to keep my back straight, to barely get my hands close to my ankles, to get into a triangle…sigh.

So I feel like a little bit of a failure, but I’m determined to get better. I know part of natural birth is trusting your body, but I must have spent a lot of time distrusting it over the last several years!

So Yoga. I have to do it, and I don’t have a choice now. It’s supposed to be the best thing for an easier labor.  It’s only my 5th day, and I spent most of the hour cursing and breathing like I was running track instead of doing something that is supposedly meditative.  I’m annoyed by my tight chest muscles that won’t let me get a deep breath. I’m annoyed by my tight shoulders that make it really hard to reach. And I’m annoyed that those really big pregnant ladies are doing better than me. Jerks.

I’ll get better, but this is a LOT harder than I thought. I think there’s something here that I have to overcome-my body is not my enemy.  So I’m just going to try and open my stupid heart chakra and keep it up.