I am sorry for the ridiculous amounts of toilet paper I have personally been responsible for flushing down the toilet over the last 10 months. Between the constant checking of what was going on and coming out down there, the excessive paranoia induced checks to see if I was spotting throughout the first trimester, and the increasingly frequent and futile trips to urinate throughout the pregnancy, I already feel like I’m personally responsible for at least half an acre of dead rainforest. Add to that my now constant urge to poop, which, just as in the constant urge to pee, rarely yields anything substantial, and I feel I am well on my way to killing at least one polar bear, as well.
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